To whomever it concerns...

So, I've been reflecting a lot on my past, lately. Yes, I know that it is in the past and I can't change it. So, I was inspired to write it all down. I have been looking over passed relationships with friends and I can't help but feel guilty. I know I shouldn't. These particular people had been toxic in my life. I had every right to burn those bridges for my own personal protection. I don't regret that part. I am who I am today because of that toxicity, though. The problem is, how can I go on preaching love, acceptance and forgiveness, if I have these bad endings of friendships? 

Never again, would I ever go back to these friendships. I am happy. I have an amazing, adorable and loving husband that provides everything I need, at any cost, emotionally, physically, maritally, and mentally. He worships the ground I walk on. And I worship him right back. In all things. In all faults and qualities. He has given me a beautiful daughter. Who, I just can't express more, is my everything... She slaps me in the face when I'm feeling "Woe is me." She grounds me. She is my rock and my constant thing I can count on in this life; Alongside her dad. So, I'm not sad. I'm not resentful. My family, my animals, my home, my job, everything I have worked for in this marriage, has been a success, in abundance. 

As I said, I would never allow myself to fizzle back into that dark, unhappy place. In those same friend circles. But how can I move forward in my spiritual healing, if I have not completely healed, myself? I don't know. That is the ultimate question. Most of these people would LOVE to never hear from me again. I was not a nice teenager... I was very jaded and broken. I was so desperate for attention... It was exhausting. The only ones willing to stick around during my hell, was my family, of course, and my two best friends, one, whom I had to scratch my way back to her and apologize for my stupidity. And the other I lost from Leukemia in August '14, before I could mend what tension her and I had... I don't know if I can carry that heavy of guilt again. That almost tore me apart.

What I'm trying to get at is, to anyone that may randomly look at my facebook, from time to time, (I'm sure I've stalked yours too) or checked my instagram, this blogger account, any of you that we have obviously went our separate ways, separated with negative closure, I hope you see this. I'm sorry for leaving things the way I did. Both parties could have handled things better. I feel we have moved on and are doing quite well for ourselves. But we can't hide the fact that if we ran in to one another in a grocery store, our stomachs would drop. All that anxiety, all that irritability, hatred; It's not healthy. We've created our own little new families, relationships, partners, friend circles, coworkers, groups, etc. beautifully. I'd just like to congratulate you.  Thank you for the great memories we DID share. And I apologize for my stubborn, prideful, hateful random acts of immaturity. Thank you for the laughs. And I hope your life is filled with happiness, health, and grace. Let's go on with our own lives with clarity. Farewell. 

Stay colorful.

Purple Psyche

Brandyne White

Michael, Raphael and Gabriel

I have been thinking a lot about The Archangels lately... I started reading Archangels 101, written by Doreen Virtue... I love it. I haven't really gotten far in it yet... But, my family and I have had a stressful and scary 2015 thus far. And reading this has really helped my faith. The Archangels are the angels that most people believe will be the ones to smite all evil and wicked during the apocalypse, or rapture. They are on the highest scale next to God, they are God's right hand. When you are praying to them, asking for their help and guidance, you are asking God. When you are praying to them, you are not 'worshiping another God' or 'false idols.' They are God's middlemen, or women. Whichever.  They don't have gender, they don't have judgement, they are love and good in all ways. They help us, through God's light while God works on more pressing issues ;P. They are unlimited beings. So asking them for help with something you feel is trivial or minimal, they are not being taken away from something more pressing. They are infinite. They are anywhere and everywhere at the same time. But only if you ask them.  

I have been so nervous, spiritually, financially, physically, and emotionally. Whether we were gonna make it... So I started looking for help. I read that they cannot intervene with free will or free agency, so in order for them to help out, they need your permission... They help with protection with travel, patience, material items, health, physical healing, strength, finance. It is the idea of ridding us of unnecessary stress and loss... Making our experience on this earth filled with lower energy and anxiety. So all they need is permission. 

I was so upset about money and trying to find the way to make rent and bills... So I called on Archangel Michael for help and guidance to help us stabilize. Michael is the highest of the angels, he is the angel of all things. Asked if he could help us make rent. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. I went to bed and the next morning I looked at my bank account and I got paid. Like I normally do, the same day I normally do... But I got paid double my normal hourly rate... They cashed out my vacation days... on THAT pay check. What are the odds? We were able to make rent. We were able to grab a few groceries. Drew and I asked him help Drew to find a job and soon. I asked if he could encourage the employer to give him more hours when he did find one. Drew went to an interview, got the job, and 2 days later, was asked to come in early permanently.  He's got the job of his dreams and with great pay. He is so happy. And I am less stressed :).  I thanked Michael, over and over. 

That wasn't the end of the miracles. Archangel Raphael is most commonly known for being the healer, for lack of better word. The angel of all the animals and nature. And I had an experience at work, I'm a dog groomer so I had a client come in and the poor thing was just so matted, and his eye goop was so packed and dried onto his face and I noticed that the skin under it was really raw and looked like he had been scratching at it. Like he was trying to get it off... It was very irritated, and the other eye was starting to get that bad as well. So I called the Pet Parent and let them know the situation, asking if they wanted me to continue and what they would like me to do and what I recommended, etc, etc. They ended up wanting me to continue, and just try to get as much hair off around it and clean it up as much as I could. They told me they had made an appointment for the little guy for the vet the next morning. Unfortunately, in the bath it got even more irritated, obviously, because the skin gets softer in water, so it started to bleed. I worked around it like the parent wanted and finished up the groom. When he was all done and putting him back in the kennel to wait for his parents, I asked Raphael to PLEASE help speed up this little ones healing process for his injury. I asked him to please help the dog not scratch at it anymore. I gave the dog kisses and shut the door and continued on my next dog. 

Later, the pet parents showed up and I went to go get their pup. I do want to say, I am not making this up. I looked at that dog, and it was as if he had been in there for days allowing his eye to heal up. Like the vet secretly stopped by and sprayed some healing spray on it... It was almost gone. In 20 minutes. I took him out to his parents and they must have thought I was nuts. Because they were squinting their eyes, trying to find what the heck I was talking about over the phone... And all I could find to say was..."Well, it DID look bad..." :P Again, I thanked Raphael and went on with my work satisfied. 

Archangel Gabriel is the angel of revelation. The messenger of God. Gabriel also works most with children, adoption, conceiving and parenting. This angel is mostly referred to as a woman, cause of her feminine figure and maternal energy. My daughter, Burke, had been really sick for the last couple weeks. Her nose was all stuffed up, she wasn't eating, she hadn't gone potty in a couple days, and she was just so tired and lethargic. She was definitely sick. I took her to the doctor and got her going on the right path of recovery. But before that kicked in, it was obviously gonna take some healing time. But she wasn't sleeping. She was staying up, crying, screaming, she was so uncomfortable breathing through her mouth. She would fall asleep after self soothing, then jolt awake due to the fact she wasn't used to sleeping with breathing through her mouth. She would get startled and freak out. I tried everything. Dancing with her to calm her to sleep. Warm milk. Her little noise maker that she usually loves to listen to while falling asleep... I tried Vicks vapor rub. The humidifier. Everything. I was left to just allowing her to just self soothe. I prayed to Gabriel to help her. To allow her to fall asleep, or lull her asleep. Help her not be so scared  and uncomfortable... I asked if she could lull her to sleep and keep her asleep. I asked her to clear her nose up. I asked her to lull her so she can sleep throughout the night. I knew she needed to heal, she was still sick and as all of us know, sleeping is the best thing for you. She wasn't doing that. About 3 minutes later, I was noticing Burke was quieting down. She would burst out in tears at first for a second, then quiet down again. She finally was out. She slept through the whole night. Which she wasn't, that whole week before. She was sleeping like she usually did. Drew and I were able to have a good nights rest. And Burke woke up chipper and excited the next morning. Like she hadn't been sick for days. 

...

I noticed something every time I would talk to them... Whenever the conversation was over, and I felt they got the gist of what I was asking, my ears would ring. Like the ringing you get from standing up too fast, or when you just left a concert, something loud went off right next to your ear, or even when you get hit smack dab on the ear with something. But I was just sitting there. It was as if they were responding back, "I'll get right on it." But in angel-ese;ish;an;ic. What ever language they speak ;P the heavenly language, if you will. But in a pitch or frequency that is only heard as a ringing. At that moment, every time, I felt I had been heard. 

...

I had a visit with my medium today. It was a Christmas gift for my Grandma. She had some closure business to do. She had some worries to let go. All her guardians and passed relatives wanted to take those burdens from her and replace it with light and acceptance. She was asked to open up her heart and send all that negative guck out of her soul. During the healing process, Christ actually wanted to personally heal her sorrows himself. So he asked her permission if he could do that, and she of course said yes... We all closed our eyes,  sent light and love to my grandma, to help the process. I saw, in my mind, my grandma sitting there, surrounded by light, and her chest pouring out sadness and worry. When all that dark was out, I saw a bright, white, silhouette. Yes, I know a silhouette is supposed to be a shadow, or dark, black. But the only way I can describe it was the opposite of a silhouette, white. But I could tell it was a figure, a being. So bright, with light and love I couldn't make out details in facial features or what he would look like. I just could see the basics, the head, the body, limbs, the cloak, all emitting pure light and love, joy and understanding. And his eyes... Filled with pure joy and love. With a twinkle of happy tears. I saw her chest sealing up with gold string stitching her up, light and what looked like glitter, filling her core until her chest was sealed and closed. Whole. Christ smiled, and leaned down and lightly kissed her forehead. She felt so lifted. So light. It was the most magical thing I've seen. 

Stay Colorful. 

Purple Psyche

Brandyne White

It's 2015!

The year of hoverboards, flying cars, and wristwatch phones! It's been a while since I've written. With the holiday season being so chaotic, finding the time has been hard ;). But! 2015 is here! When we all thought we wouldn't make it passed 12-21-2012, due to the ending of the Mayan Calendar fiasco, we all know so well! Named The International Year of Light and Light-based Technologies. This year, we'll have 5/15/15. Roughly up to 150 Million human births are expected within a period of 365 days of 2015, across the world! Big year!

Anyway, I just was thinking about all the New Year resolutions everyone has, and how very few people stick to them... The usual: Quit smoking, exercise more, gossip less, watch less tv, drink less coffee, loose 30 pounds, drink less alcohol, make more money, etc. etc. etc. 

 I was also thinking about how self centered all these resolutions can be... Yes, there is a time to think of yourself, but when you proclaim, "New year, New me!" every. single. year. It get's pretty redundant...

I wish I heard these more often: Start Recycling, Open my heart, Stop Judging, Love more, Give to Charity, Be a better Mother/Father, Pray for others, Be kind, Be more giving.  Things that benefit others and send loving and positive energy out to others. 

2015 is supposed to be the year of change, good fortune and wealth... Let's sure as hell hope so...I have never really been one for resolutions, but this year is the year for change, so why not? So. My resolution for year 2015, have more faith. Not necessarily just in a spiritual way. But more in humanity. My little family and I have been pretty stomped on a lot this past year. By employers, teachers, instructors, family members, and 'friends.'... But there is those occasions when Humanity absolutely blows my mind... Things that bring tears to my eyes... Enjoy a this sample of the many things Humanity does RIGHT.

And... That's just a snippet of what we do... I really want to try and remember whenever something bad happens, to give whomever the benefit of the doubt... That they are just living their lives... Doing things to support their family. Doing what they feel is best for their loved ones... Just as I'm doing. And remember without sadness, pain, betrayal and disappointment, there can not be light, happiness, joy and love. I want to work on not being so quick to anger with them... 

....

I want to grow closer to my intuition. I want to discipline myself more on understanding Archangels, Deities, Meditation, Spiritual Healing and putting it to action. I want to start helping people find closure. I'm ready.  

Happy New Year, and good luck on everyone and their resolutions! 

Stay Colorful.

Brandyne White

Purple Psyche