My first #bookreview !
⭐️⭐️/5
Jumping right in...
Also. #Spoilers !
📍The first quarter of the book had a lot of promise. I had high hopes for the interesting plot. But as it went on, the story drifted from satire to complete nonsense. I understand satirical humor, but this jumped around way too much and ended up being completely counterproductive and just an excuse to go too crazy with plot.
📍The book starts out with Arnold, a grumpy botanist, unwillingly sitting in at a baseball stadium with his nephew. When the crowd stands for God Bless America for all lost in 9/11, he refuses to stand. The stadium camera catches this one man in a crowd of thousands standing, and he sticks his tongue out in protest.
📍This affects his home life. Protesters, journalists, priests are all storming his home. His relationship with his wife, Judith, deteriorates as he refuses to apologize. This whole debacle sheds some new light on what his wife really wants…Children. In which Arnold had always had the understanding that kids was just a narcissistic dance humanity played and wanted no part of it. Judith admits that she told herself this to make her feel better about being infertile.
📍One persistent journalist, Cassandra, sticks out to him and he starts getting romantic feelings for her.
📍Now, this is where things get wonky.
📍Apparently, Arnold gets in tiff with his new “mistress”, for some reason I couldn’t even follow. So in a mad rage she destroys his garden. Which he finds a complete deal breaker and unforgivable. He leaves.
Randomly, there is some kind of “Bare-ass Bandit” that has been terrorizing the community. He demands victims to hand over all their clothes at gunpoint.
I guess?
📍Arnold befriends the felon.
📍Arnold decides to get revenge on all that made his life miserable during this charade. He teams up with the bandit and then becomes a felon himself.
📍Toward the end, he burns the bridges of the bandit too, and has nowhere to go, except to just go back home…
📍It ends with Arnold daydreaming about having kids with wife and living their new life together…
📍That’s it.
📍The end.
📍ALL OF THAT. JUST 👏🏻 TO 👏🏻 APOLOGIZE?! You made all this fuss with all your bullshit theories and beliefs for protest, and now you just throw it all away and apologize …
ALSO! Do you not realize? FELONS CAN’T ADOPT CHILDREN.
📍I’ve seen that a lot of readers didn’t like the formatting of the book… That was least of my complaints. I actually liked the double spacing and the rest of the formatting decisions.
All the characters in this book are dull. No one, anyone should strive to be.
📍I’m giving this book a 2/5 simply because the first quarter had potential, I liked the different plot line, and I liked the different formatting.
📍Anyway. That’s my two cents… ON to the next.
📝 Note: I won this book in a #librarything #giveaway in exchange for my HONEST review.
